I Don't Blame You
by vcbxnzm21
Summary: When Xenophilius Lovegood reveals his one and only secret to his daughter what will happen? Will she be mad? Upset? Hateful? Or will she forgive her father for everything that he had done, everything that he had kept hidden from her? But more importantly, what will happen to Xenophilius now that Luna knows? Written for the Quidditch Comp Semi-Finals!


**AN: This was written for the Quidditch Comp semi-finals! And whoa, this round was intense but I got it done...and on time! (That terrible moment where your computer has problems the day before entries are due so you type the ENTIRE story on your phone only to realize that it won't upload from there. But then you come home to find out that your piece of crap computer is fixed...Yay!) **

**Anywho I hope that you guys enjoy this and please remember to review!**

**My prompts were Dialogue "I never should have mentioned it.", "And more than anything I have ever been afraid of, I am terrified of lies." - Andrea Gibson, Panic Button Collector, and Blame.**

He would never tell anyone, but Xenophilius Lovegood had secret. It was one that he had never told anyone. He had never told his parents, he had never told his friends, he had never told his wife, and he never ever had told his daughter. At least before it wasn't too late.

Because you see this was no ordinary secret. This was a dark secret, a secret that Xenophilius would take to the grave. Because if anyone, ANYONE, knew than nothing would be the same.

But it was one day, late in his life that Xenophilius let his only secret in his life slip to the one person he didn't want to know about it at all.

"Is there anything else I can get you Daddy?" Luna asked as she set a tray of soup, crackers, and a glass of milk down in front of her father.

"No, no," he said sitting up slightly in his bed. "You've done more than enough Luna."

Luna sent a small smile to her father and kissed his forehead. She left his room then. She gently closed the door behind her and let out a soft sigh. Taking care of her father was hard.

After the war ended and Xenophilius had been released from Azkaban he hadn't been himself. He let Luna almost completely take over the Quibbler and never told the stories of the amazing creatures like he used to. He hardly spoke at all anymore unless it was to tell Luna something. Ever since Azkaban it seemed like any happiness he ever had was sucked out of him and left him almost lifeless. As the years went on he only got worse. Luna almost always had to be with him, especially when he left the house or there were guests over.

Luna walked downstairs to where the printer was whirring quietly. Ever since the war it seemed like the Quibbler was more popular than ever before. More copies had to be printed monthly in order to keep up with the copies being sold. More people also wanted to write for the magazine, a proud accomplishment for Luna. But the job kept her on her feet at every possible spare second.

Not to mention the eleven year old twins who had started school this year and her husband's job that kept away for weeks at a time.

That's when there was a crash from the floor above. Luna rushed up the stairs and into her father's room.

"Daddy," she said scanning the room for him, but his bed was empty and the tray of food was still sitting there. "Daddy!" she called, panic creeping into her voice.

"Luna," came the small and weak reply from the other side of the bed.

Luna walked around the bed to see her father lying on the floor. "Oh Daddy," she said kneeling next to him. "What happened?" she asked as she helped him sit up.

"I-I wanted...wanted to l-l-look out the window," he replied as Luna helped him into the chair by the window.

She kneeled on the floor next to him and rested a hand on top of her father's bony fingers. He was so thin now, so thin and weak. "You know that you shouldn't be getting up without help. The healer said you don't have the strength to do so."

Xenophilius didn't say anything. He just looked down into his daughter's bright blue eyes. They were always so inquisitive, so unchanging, still holding onto any little bit of childhood innocence she had left after everything that she had been through.

He took his free hand and placed it on his cheek. She smiled sadly up at him.

"Luna," he said softly. "My Luna. My Lun-Lun. My amazing daughter. I love you Luna."

"I love you too Daddy," Luna replied just as quietly.

"I have something to tell you Luna," Xenophilius said not even realizing what he was saying.

Luna looked up at him with wide, innocent eyes. She was still and silent. She waited with bated breath for her father to speak again. It was the most that he had spoken in years and she wasn't about to stop him now.

"I hope you do not blame me, my dear Luna," Xenophilius said rubbing his daughter's cheek. "I have only wanted to protect you, to keep you safe, to keep you happy. But I have lied to you my Luna."

Luna looked up at him with shock all over her face. "About what?" she asked quietly searching her father's face to se if this was some sort of trick, like the ones that he used to play on her when she was little.

"My darling Luna I only wanted to protect you, keep you safe," he said again as a tear rolled down his cheek.

"I'm not afraid Daddy," she whispered. "And more than anything I have ever been afraid of, I am terrified of lies."

"I am so sorry Luna," he repeated. "Please don't blame me. I never should have mentioned it."

Luna reached up and wiped the tears that were trailing down his hollow cheeks from dead looking eyes. "Please Daddy," she begged tears of her own forming, "just tell me."

"The things I used to say, the stories of the creatures that I used to tell, a lie. All of it a lie, to keep you safe, to keep you happy. Even before your mother died there were the lies."

Ten thousand different emotions flew through her wide blue eyes. Anger, hate, blame, disappointment, understanding, love, sadness, longing, all within a matter of seconds.

"Please my Luna," he said running a hand through her long blonde hair. Hair very much like her mothers. "Don't...don't blame me. Please my Luna. Please don't blame me."

"I-I don't," Luna said through the tears running down her face.

She pressed his bony hand to her cheek as he continued to plead, please don't blame me. Please my Luna, please forgive me. Only to protect you, keep you safe, happy." His thumb rubbed at her tears.

"I don't blame you Daddy. I forgive you," Luna told him.

"Don't...blame...me...my...Luna," he whispered. His thumb stopped moving, the tears trailing down his face ended, his eyes became blank and he stared out the window.

"No," Luna whispered as she realized what was happening. "No...no...no," she cried standing. "Wake up!" she screamed as she shook his shoulders. "No! You can't leave! I don't blame you! I forgive you! I FORGIVE YOU! I DON'T BLAME YOU!" She screamed at the still and lifeless body.

Luna broke into sobs then. She sank to her knees and clutched her sides, trying to hold herself together. Her entire body shook and tears poured down her face.

She spent hours sitting on the floor and sobbing. Slowly she pulled herself together. Her sobs quieted, her body stopped shaking, the tears ended, and the only sound in the room that could be heard was her occasional small hiccup.

Luna stood then. She looked at her father's body and took a deep breath. She brushed his white hair away from his tear-stained face.

"You know, I always had my suspicions," she said quietly. "As I grew up I realized that some things just weren't real. But I never blamed you for it. I never would have either. You're my Daddy and I will always, always love you." She gave a small kiss to his forehead as she closed his eyes so that it looked like he was sleeping. "I know, I know," she whispered against his skin. "I never blamed you. I don't blame you. I will never blame you."

Luna moved away from him. She went downstairs to start to let people what had happened, but of course she would never tell anyone the whole truth.

* * *

From above Xenophilius looked upon his daughter with a small smile on his face. He looked young again, a man in his prime. His face was no longer so pale and sunken in, his hair was shining again and was no longer limp, his body was strong and healthy not weak and frail.

"Xeno?" a Female voice called.

Xenophilius looked behind him to see a woman with long blonde hair and blue eyes come toward him. He grinned at the sight of her. The woman was smiling as she stopped in front of him.

"It's so good to see you," he whispered as he pulled her into his arms. It felt so good holding her again. It had been a long time since he was able to embrace her.

She pulled away from him and placed a hand on his cheek. "It's good to see you too Xeno," she told him. She placed her hand in his before looking away. "You took good care of her," she said looking down upon their daughter.

Xenophilius looked down as well. "I'm just glad that she forgave me," he said quietly. "I didn't think she would." He glanced over at his wife and asked, "You don't blame me, right?"

She smiled and said, "Of course not Xeno. You were only doing what you believed was right, what was best. I don't blame you."

Xenophilius smiled as a single tear rolled down his cheek. "Thank you," he whispered, but whether it was to his wife or to his daughter he wasn't sure.

* * *

'Thank you.'

Luna looked up at the ghost of the words that floated through her ears. It sounded exactly like her father and she knew that it was from him.

She smiled and looked upwards. "You're welcome," she whispered back just as quietly. "I don't blame you."

**AN: So I hope that you guys enjoy and hopefully I didn't make you cry to hard cuz I know for fact that I was near tears while writing this! Anywho please review now! Also good luck to all other Quidditch players!**


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